Lemons and Limes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's been a good while. It's time to get scribbling again.

A word on my absence...

I am well. I'm surprised. Never thought I'd get here. But I'm peaceful and happy.

For a long time I experienced existential pain. Then, after 9/11 I lost everything. Apartment? gone, Car? gone, Job? gone. It took over two years to land a job. I worked my way through corporate America. The politics and corporate nonsense often made me wonder about that prior 2+ years. Had the universe tried to guide me to do MY work full time? Did I miss an opportunity?

I told myself that if life should ever strike another devastating blow, I’d have the courage to do it— never imagining that life would strike a second time.

I was trying to crawl out of a Dark Night of the Soul when Life came out swinging for a rematch. I was let go in 2020.

While the initial fear was horrible, I found the fear of regret even more terrifying. Come what may, I’m keeping my promise to myself. After decades of doing My work with left-over time, I'm pursuing it full time. Nearly every day I'm working in my humble studio and shop.

I try not to think about losing my home. I don’t really know the perfect steps to take but that's what leaps of faith are.

The great pain I suffered apexed three months before the job loss, causing a transformation over time that I can not easily explain. All I can say is that suffering is a great teacher.

We are not who we think we are. We are a higher consciousness. A large event is often needed to awaken us out of our false sense of self. I've led a life of safety and always being super responsible. It's an illusion. Safety is not a life well lived.

It does take effort sometimes to keep creating with no promise of success, but I am compelled to believe in and pursue my purpose. I create almost every day, and plan strategically as best I can without knowing my future.

My work is amazing. No one can do what I do. I believe in it. We all are meant to fulfill our purpose, the surprising thing is that you don't have to do, just be. Allow.

Coincidence? In a previous post I eluded to a SHIFT. (The truth of that, is that in 2018 I had declared to myself that by end of 2022 I'd be doing my art full time, even if it meant living in my car. I had an employer at the time and no idea how I'd accomplish it. And now all these events have pushed me to take the leap.) I think the universe helps us more than we know, if we are willing to walk through fear of the unknown.

Stop interfering in your life. Let yourself be done. Let yourself be lived by it. If life has served you some lemons, allow the lemonade to be. In my case, Limes... lemons are overrated. :)

toMAYto - toMAHto.

#zjmissive #presentawareness #thenow